Dear Boris

Dear Boris,

How is your day going? I hear you were hiding in the back of the limo leaving for Parliament  this morning. Things must be tough.

My  day? Oh thanks for asking. It’s been good! Lovely quiet winters day.  Perfect for walking the dogs and chatting (safely, outdoors & at a distance) with my friends and neighbours. It all reminds me that we are 12 days into  the new year and it reminds me that I feel  grateful. Grateful to  be here, grateful for where I live, grateful that because of my care in sticking to the rules that I have, as yet, been spared Covid.

I’m pleased to say that despite using up the Christmas treats that I’ve lost a couple of my target 21lbs and  that I’m sticking to my  exercise programme and to Dry January.

Of course all is not perfect and I am distressed by the heartrending stories of people’s experience during lockdown when you were ‘working’ in the Number 10 garden. Not only the numbers mixing, which was not possible for the rest of us, but  also the amount of alcohol consumed during  ‘work’ when you all were making decisions for the rest of us.

In a previous job simply having alcohol within the factory gates was a sackable offence (& that was back in the last century  BTW). Are you and your staff really able to make decisions for us while quaffing wine in the garden? Did you think it was acceptable to those separated from  their dying relatives and friends?

But I’m not writing this to be judgemental. Plenty of others will do that! I think you need some friendly wise council. Something  that grabs your attention and helps you make the right decision for your health and welfare (and consequently for ours!).

Do you really think you are in the right job?  I know you have complained you are strapped for cash because of the awful salary you receive and of course there was the unedifying begging for help to refurbish your flat. Perhaps you would be better exploring other opportunities such as writing or the lecture circuit. I hear it’s quite lucrative!

A wee aside here (& one I’d address to your ex colleague Mr Hancock too). Decoration! I was concerned for Mr H when I was first allowed virtual access to the red room (No, not that red room! ref. 50 shades, for  those who  don’t know – just referring to his office). How can anyone work and make decisions in a room so, well, red! I further worry in your case. Is not that decor a little over stimulating for you and for your small children (though of course they might not have access – perhaps a nanny sensibly keeps them  away?).

After your dice with Covid death you declared you would be losing weight & getting fit. What happened? Perhaps a little advice to get you fit and healthy for your new life post Number 10?  Hope you  don’t mind.

The reports of parties at Number 10 (& hot off the press you have now acknowledged you were there) seem to involve alcohol. Can you make decisions for us in such circumstance.  Do you need help in getting the drinking under control? Maybe not because you are now saying you were there whereas up until today you were not sure whether you were there or not. Memory lapses are a worry!

Now I’m no expert but 12 days into dry Jan I have been reading round the subject and can recommend some text to help. You might particularly like Lots of resources and if you navigate carefully much is free so no excuse given your personal financial challenges! Other options which will not eat into your income are available – just ask.

I’m sure you’ll  be hearing a lot from others today  but I hope my comments are helpful and that  you will soon make the right  decision and move forward to a better, healthier, post Number 10 life so we can all move on.

I wish you well for the future and look forward, when you’ve gone, to the grown ups being back in charge of the country. Hopefully that will happen soon.

Kind regards,


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